Your thoughts are not who you are. That's a pretty deep idea to ponder. If you have a knee-jerk reaction to disagree with that statement, that's certainly your right. Most people probably instinctively believe that their thoughts must reflect who they are, or why would they have them?
This seems logical. Why would a process be going on inside your mind that didn't concern who you are? Don't your thoughts reflect what you believe or desire to do or achieve?
With all this conversation about one's thoughts, you might wonder why they are so negative sometimes. Don't worry. If it concerns you that your thoughts are often troubling and your inner chatter never seems to stop, we'll tell you why. That begins with understanding what thoughts really are.
Thoughts Are Just Things That Happen
Your thoughts are like the automatic response that makes your dog twitch his leg when you scratch him a certain way. The behavior doesn't mean anything. It's not good and not bad. It's just something that happens. He has no control over it.
Your thoughts are pretty much the same way most of the time. Neurologists, psychiatrists, and others who know about such things call your thoughts "objects of the mind." You have no more control over them than you do the clouds in the sky or the waves in the ocean
Just like the clouds passing by overhead, you should let your thoughts move right on by. They are nothing more than an aroma you smell, a sound you hear, or something you see. They are an event or an occurrence, and then they're gone.
You Can't Be Happy If You Obsess about Things You Have No Control Over
Psychotherapist Stacey Kuhl reminds us that we have thousands of thoughts every day. As quickly as one pops up, it's gone, to be replaced instantly with another. If we tried to act on our thoughts because they were important or they somehow dictated who we were, we wouldn't have enough time to do so.
Problems develop when we embrace our thoughts.
A thought pops into your head. It alarms you. It's not who you are. Why did you think this? Then you start thinking about your thought. You consciously wonder about something that unconsciously happened. Sometimes you may behave or act in a way triggered by your response to these thoughts, which are just events that mean nothing.
Disease, illness, stress and depression, behavioral disorders, past traumatic experiences, your environment, the foods you eat, and the millions of internal physiological processes that are going on inside you can all influence your thoughts. In other words, they are just byproducts of other processes, and they in no way declare who you are or what you should do.
Embrace this truth. It can be so very empowering. You realize that all those outlandish thoughts aren't who you are.
Remembering this gives you a clear, open path to happiness. You don't need to be weighed down by your thoughts anymore. You can choose happiness even if your thoughts are pushing you in the other direction. Know that your choices in life are yours and should not be driven by your thoughts. Choose to be happy, not driven by random, meaningless thoughts.
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